The Adventures Of N00B And Nub
by Smiley Rusy
Summary: Stories of two (sometimes) brave and (chronically) stupid freinds N00b and Nub as they battle a blocky world of evil, creeper-riding penguiens and invading cats.


**Testing, testing, 123, if you can read this then my computer is no longer broken. Story is rated K but personally I rate it CAPITAL R for random and CAPITAL B for 'not very good' so now is the time to turn back/still here? OK, this is a random fic I dug out from back when I was in eigth grade, me and a couple of friends whom I WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN wrote it together so it has sentimental value (but not much else.) But it's fiction and written by a fan and I have nothing else in storage at the moment so let this be the opening piece to my archive. I look forward to writing for you in future!**

Story #1

Nubertr0n05 is pronounced 'NUB- a-tron- five'  
N00B_PL0X is pronounced 'Noob-puh-locks'

Once upon a time in a highly addictive computer game lived a man. This man was not an ordinary man. In fact if you were to compare him to a real man he wouldn't look anything like a real man. The cause of this was that this man was made out of blocks another reason was that his name was N00B_PL0X this was not an ordinary name and he did not have an ordinary life as you will find out.

Now in their house they have a secret. That secret has been kept secret, until now that is. Now under their lavish gardens, stone paths and glorious house was an iceberg. This is a special iceberg inhabited by penguins. Block penguins. Evil block penguins who wanted their iceberg back. They have been plotting their evil plan for months, planning to rid the world of Nub and N00B. (This is such a _secret_ secret, not even Nub and N00B know about it! How about that?)

"Nub, are you German?" Asked N00B suddenly for no apparent reason.  
"Nein." Said Nub, which meant 'no' in German.  
"Okay…?" Said N00B.

"ssssSSSSS!" Said the creeper ridding on the killer penguin. The two players whirled around, drew their arms (a diamond hoe and a dirt shovel) and bumped heads with each other.

"Um…Ow! Shouldn't the penguin be ridding the creeper?" Asked N00B.  
"Who cares, get it!" Yelled Nubertron05.

_TWACK! BOOM!_

"Well that was lame." Said Nubatron05 "N00B!" A dirt hoe was lying in a creator.

N00B appeared back on the dirt block and started swimming back.

"N00B! I had just met you! We could have survived together! And…!"cried N00b.  
"Hey man." Said N00B.  
"What the! What?"

"It's called RESPAWNING." Said NUB.

Story #2

'Scheiße' is pronounced 'shy-zer'

Once upon a cube blocks in a cube-ish land a boy named N00B_PL0X spawned in water and saw a giant block of ice in the distance. The water around the block of ice seemed cold.

N00B_PL0X noticed a fire and a half destroyed shack and walked over. As the fire burnt out a player named Nubertr0n05 came to the site; "A wreck, isn't it?" He exclaimed. "I'll find out who did this." He went on before N00B could reply, then N00B had an idea, he built a small shack and started to spy on it, Nub joined him. Some penguins came along…"Hey look, penguins!" Said Nub.

They looked back and the shack was a wreck.

"Oh my God." Said Nub.

Suddenly N00B_PL0X lost it and started running around and yelling; "Endermen! They took everything!"

Suddenly Nub realised the penguins were holding TNT.

"Um, N00B?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Is it me or are these penguins holding TNT?"  
"It's definitely not you 'cause I know I'm not blind."

The penguins chased them hither and thither, to and fro, forwards and backwards but they weren't so bright, they couldn't see the hole in front of them and they fell into a small hole-then _BOOM!_ Their insidious plot had been put into action; it turned out that the penguins laid Redstone behind them and a single lever, which they had cleverly placed. The world was reduced to blocks of rubble. They had lost. The penguins had detonated it, they had won.

"Scheiße!" Swore Nub, staring at his doomed world of dead pixels, he would have to start building all over again! Oh well, at least he had his diamonds-_**VRooOOOoooM**_**!**

The world went black.

Nubertr0n05 was run over by a English double-decker bus, RESPAWN or SAVE & QUIT TO TITLE?

_Story #3_

_Click_ went the mouse and down he fell. Layers of textures blurred in front of him, mind-blowing and beautiful; cobble mountains riddled with gems, lava lakes and a woman taking a shower-

Wait, _what_?

"_OOF!_ _OUCH!__ Scheiße! OUCH, OUCH_!"

Nubertron05 suffocated inside a wall. RESPAWN?

"Uhh... where am I? Hey it's a dog-I'll pet it! Okay...and pet!" THWACK! "Ahh! Red eyed dog!" The angry wolf attacked Nubertron05 and chased him into a cave in the snow. "Ahh!" Suddenly everything went dark. Muffled barking could be heard from behind the thick wall of snow that fell. "What? I forgot the avalanche mode! Huh? I can see a faint light, wonder that it is?" So Nubertron05 followed the light. At the end of the cave was an icy cave lit by torches, it contained doors and penguins, _lots_ of penguins. They caught one, killed it and skinned it and crafted a penguin suit. N00B put the suit on and walked in Nub made a bear suit from the bear fur and was ready to act as a distraction. N00B walked in and said "Squawk! Squawk!"  
"Arrg, what is that noise?" said one of the penguins.  
"It sounds like our dumb relatives." Said another.  
"Hey N00B?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you think we'll make it?"  
"Of course not!"  
"Why are we doing this then?"  
"'Cause."  
"'Cause why?"  
"'Cause I said so!"  
"Why did you say so?"  
"Could you stop asking questions? It'll give the game away!"  
"If you light the TNT I'll run."  
"Why run? Oh, yeah…_right_."  
"Ok, 3,2,1!"  
"RUN!"

Nothing happened. They had forgotten to place repeaters*face palm*then N00b had a great idea.

"Be right back!"  
"What are you doing?"  
"Plan B.

Then he was back with a giant bus.  
The penguins looked in astonishment, Nub looked in astonishment, and N00B accidentally pushed the ejection seat. The bus plummeted forward. _CRUNCH!_

Dead.

RAGE QUIT!

_Story #4_

Meet Nubertr0n05 or Nub for short. He has just met a guy by the name of N00B_PL0X. They had many great adventures together. This particular adventure involved a big bus, some evil griefing penguins and a death or two and it goes a little something like this:

In the wonderful land of, well, I don't know what it's called really, the world is made entirely of blocks, remember that-

"Oh my God!" Yelped Nubertr0n05 "Where is that voice coming from?"

Well, I'm your mother's aunties' son's brother's friend's roommate's brother.

"W-What does that make us?" Whimpered 05.

Absolutely nothing! I'm the narrator.

"Oh, the _narrator."_ Signed 05

Oh, 05?

"Yes narrator, what is it?"

Your name is actually Nubertron_0511_

"What do you mean?" Asked 05

I AM YOUR FATHER! Oh, and evil cats are on their way to kill you.

"Oh… ok-WHAT! What did I do to them?"

Nothing, they just like killing.

N00b and Nub got prepared for battle and made some extra potions, they both sat there ready and the next day came and they could see a few specs of grey white and brown. They realised what they were; EVIL CATS. Shooting their bows and killed three of the ten evil cats but the secret weapon was ready. "BLOW IT UP!"  
"OK!"  
"3.2.1."  
"RUN!"

BOOM!

"Phew, we destroyed the secret the weapon."  
"Let's go home."  
"OK."

Click.

"What was that?" Asked Nub.  
"Uh, it was a hidden trip wire that's connected to some TNT that will blow us sky high."  
"OH SH-!"*

BOOM!

*this was 'shoot' not sh*t

Story #5

N00B_PL0X joined the game.

"Hello?" Said N00B_PL0X he had just spawned on a block of dirt with no land for miles. Out of the corner of his eye he saw an iceberg and started the long swim. Eventually he got there and noticed a person fighting a bear. A name tag said Nubertr0n05.

N00B_PL0X decided to help Nubertr0n05 by ambushing the bear from behind. He was just about to kill/attack the bear when the block he was standing on disappeared and he found himself falling. The fall took five seconds, when he hit the bottom of where ever he was he made a _splat _sound. Not the kind of sound you would like to hear if you had just fallen.

Then it went black.

Waking up he groggily looked around the room, noticing that he was trapped he tried to free himself but in vain. It was two blocks high and made of obsidian. He heard penguin voices, not really voices but sounds. Noticing that the floor was foolishly made of dirt he dug out and eventually he made it to his secret bunker. It had been demolished completely and the penguins were coming for him. The only thing he thought to do was run, and run he did.

Look on the bright side; at least your bunker wasn't filled up with bedrock.

"Shut up narrator!" Snapped Nub, chopping a penguin in half then rushing off to avoid the rest, not even bothering to pick up their dropped Klondike Bars. 

"Finally!" Nub yelled in relief. Then a huge shadow fell upon Nub. Nub froze and slowly turned around...  
"Oh, just a cloud." Nub laughed. Some eerie cracking was heard then…SMASH! Nub fell though the ice and drowned.


End file.
